Driving.
Need proof positive that people are stupid? Look no further than your local roads, highways and parking lots. Enter the realm of black asphalt and you are instantly transported into a dimension where apparently common sense got told to get the hell away. Let’s face it, there isn’t a single person who drives who hasn’t be guilty of one or more of these things at one time or another. Nobody’s perfect. Despite this inherent imperfection, some people are proving they are a menace to the gene pool.
Where to begin is a difficult area. The easiest topic to begin with would be turn signals. The turn signal is an amazing device that is typically installed on a post on the left side of the steering wheel. Flip the post up, and the right turn signal blinks. Even more amazing, when the post is pushed down, the left turn signal blinks. By using this fairly amazing piece of technology, one can indicate that they wish to alter their course of travel. They can use the turn signal to indicate to the outside world that a turn in the direction that they signaled, or else that they wish to pursue travel in a direction that is either to one side or the other of where they are currently in the case of a lane change. Up or down, left or right, blink, blink, blink. The turn signal is a marvelously simple device that one must show mastery of in order to legally obtain a license to operate a motor vehicle. The turn signal is easy to operate and will reset itself in the event that a turn is actually made, while a simple adjustment can reset the device in the case of a lane change. One does not have to be a body builder in order to operate this simple switch, in fact it can be operated by a frail old lady, but frail old ladies driving in and of itself is a whole other subject. Increasingly, I see people with new vehicles who apparently need to take their cars back to the dealership for warranty work, since it appears that their turn signals are not operating properly. Either these devices are having higher failure rates or people are just too stupid and/or inconsiderate to operate the turn signal.
Now it is understood how a turn signal operates. It is not necessary to understand all the electrical and mechanical nuances and intricacies that actually allow this hardware to work, it is only necessary to understand how to make the unit operate. Flip the switch to the up position, the lights on the right side blink. Flip the switch down, the lights on the left side blink. But apparently most drivers feel that the usage of a turn signal is optional and is not necessary because they apparently feel that the rest of the known universe can read their minds and knows what they are going to do. Sorry, but I don’t belong to the psychic friends networks. All I know is that I’m trying to make a left turn across an intersection that has ongoing traffic and I have no way of knowing what the through traffic is doing outside of going straight at 45 miles an hour. I have no way of knowing that you need to make a lane change across 5 lanes of freeway to the exit that you had 3 miles to line up properly onto. I am sorry that I am unable to predict with 100% certainty that you are going to weave in and out of traffic so you can get a whole car length ahead at the next stop light, assuming you intend to stop at the Red stop light. Excuse me for not being totally informed that you intended to squeeze your vehicle between my vehicle and the vehicle I am behind, despite the fact that there really is not that much room and such a lane change is dangerous. My job is to drive safely, that means YOUR job is to drive safely. Stop being an inconsiderate idiot and learn to behave in a civilized manner.
Granted, there may be some reasons why people aren’t signaling. I mean it can’t possibly be due to the fact that you’re an asshole, could it? No, of course not. That couldn’t possibly be the reason. There must be other factors at play. OK, I see a lot of people talking on cell phones. That ties up a hand so they can’t drive and signal necessarily. “Don’t mind me, I can’t be bothered to signal. Screw you, I’m on the phone, so get the hell out my way!” The ever so popular eating and driving is another such activity that apparently makes operation of the turn signal impossible. Apparently so does putting on make up, smoking, drinking, shaving, reading, watching a portable TV, taking drugs, brushing teeth, flossing, combing or brushing hair and fighting also apparently render the turn signal inoperable. Now cars are having coffee makers and coolers built into them. It’s just a matter of time before all the seats have built-in toilet functionality. “I’m sorry officer, I didn’t realize I was speeding, I was just trying to pinch a loaf while having my morning coffee during my morning conference call as I put on my make-up and read the newspaper.” What about the people NOT talking on the phone, not eating, drinking, addressing hygiene or otherwise paying attention to the road? What’s their excuse? These people have two hands dealing with driving, so why can’t the left hand be used to operate a simple switch? Oh that’s right, we’re all psychic. I should have seen it coming.
The lack of using a turn signal can be very annoying, and has caused accidents and death. What about the inappropriate usage of turn signals? I find it very annoying when they start making a turn or lane change and the halfway through it they signal. Hey, it’s a tad late for that now. Gee, why not just use the turn signal afterwards to let everyone know what you had just done? I would never have figured you were lane changing into my lane and cutting me off until you managed to put your turn signal on for a whopping half of a blink. Thank you!! Even better are the people who leave their turn signal on, because apparently they are going around the world to either the left or the right. Even worse are the Southerners, who have no concept whatsoever about turn signals. If it is on when they took possession of the vehicle, it’s on for life. Likewise, if it’s off, it stays off.
These days, apparently most people are night blind. I have never seen so many people driving around with their high beams on. It’s not just trucks doing it either; it’s passenger cars as well. I drive an SUV, and if some little dumpy Honda is blinding me from either in front or behind, they’ve got their high beams on. Come on, show some consideration, use the regular lights. Yes, I understand that if you’ve got dead headlights that the high beams might get you by, but please fix it, you’re making the road dangerous.
Hand signals are another important skill that drivers must show master of in order to legally obtain their drivers’ license. Apparently after this one-off show, hand signals have been replaced with “body parts sticking out the window”. It is one thing to see someone with their elbow sticking a little bit out of their window, obviously using the window frame as an armrest. While overall not a wise thing to do, it is obvious what is going on. What I hate are the people with their arm hanging way out of the window. Are you making a left turn? Oh wait, slowing down? What? Right turn? No, it’s this idiot gesticulating their conversation while driving with no disregard to the other drivers around them. Reel in the arm, nobody cares about your wild conversation. You’re simply making an unsafe driving condition. Apparently the only hand signal that matters after getting a driver’s license is the middle finger. I saw a recent documentary on the German Autobahn, and it is ILLEGAL to use certain hand signals, such as flipping people off and other “insulting” type gestures. Literally, it is criminal. Here in the United States, it is apparently “horn broken, watch for finger” mentality.
Tying unsafe driving to turn signals is the next topic. Too many idiots are weaving in and out of traffic, and typically without a signal to alert others to this behavior. Granted, I have seen some of these people signal their intentions, yet are still dangerous. What ever happened to defensive driving? My biggest complaint in regards to that has been noticed rather recently. My example is mainly when driving on the freeway, I signal my intentions to make a lane change. Sometimes traffic is crowded, so that signal has to remain on until I can get a break and move safely. Sometimes there is nobody around so the signaling is just a good habit to maintain. Other times, it has been this situation: I signal my intention to make a lane change, and check my mirrors and windows and see that there is a huge amount of space where I want to change lanes to. So, I start to make my lane change but then coming out of nowhere is some idiot in a late model vehicle trying to set a new land speed record, and wouldn’t you know it, they have to be in the lane I am trying to get to. There was a thousand feet between the back of my car and the front of their car when I signaled the change, so why do they have to speed up and take away that gap when I’m often times running out of road and have to change lanes to stay on the freeway? I’m not saying I’m not seeing road signs, just in California, although road labeling here leaves a lot to be desired. The other thing that annoys me is very similar. There is a large gap and I want to change to that lane, so I signal my intentions and then the 50 people behind me suddenly decide my idea is brilliant and all move to take away that space. Did I mention they failed to signal? Yeah, like it really matters.
My idea about turn signals is simple. Make it optional equipment on vehicles. Apparently they aren’t going to be using it anyways, so why pay for it? Save that extra $80 and get the toilet-seat upgrades or the in-dash coffee maker.
The big trucks don’t have the same agility as a regular car. I constantly see the big trucks getting cut off all the time. Give the trucks some room, show some courtesy to this hard to stop vehicles. Use your brains! I know that is too much to ask! After all, you’re most likely sitting on them.
There is this law that states that when you see or hear an emergency vehicle coming from any direction, with their lights on indicating that the vehicle is in an emergency mode, drivers are required to pull their vehicles to the right and wait for the emergency vehicle to pass. Surely you’ve heard of this, you have to know it to get your driver’s license. Oh wait, that was in the same brain cell as the hand signal stuff, my bad. What I’ve noticed is that for the most part, people don’t pull over when an emergency vehicle is approaching. Now, I can somewhat understand if there is a barrier and the vehicle is approaching from the opposite side and would not be able to cross the barrier, but regardless, drivers are still supposed to pull over to the right. For those who have not noticed this, then watch the evening news. It seems that high-speed pursuits are becoming a more frequent story on the evening news.
More and more frequently, we are seeing footage from some idiot trying to outrun the cops. We usually see this footage as shot from a news helicopter. We see this idiot driver usually on the freeway, zooming in and out of traffic, and of course, no signals. In hot pursuit of this model citizen are two or more police vehicles. Each time, the police vehicles must also weave in and out of traffic without using their signals. Obviously, the police are not into leading by example. However, the police are forced to weave in and out of traffic because existing traffic is not yielding to the emergency vehicles and pulling to the right. I can certainly understand as those sirens can sneak up on drivers. Regardless, from what I observe on the news, people are not even attempting to move out of the way. Did you know you could get a ticket for obstruction for not pulling over? People typically do not get these tickets because it is more critical that the emergency is responded to than dealing with a giving some jerk a ticket for being a dumb ass. Unfortunately, the DMV does not issue licenses to be a dumb ass. In many cases, the driver’s license is interchangeable for a dumb ass license. I digress. These drivers trying to outrun the police fail each and every single time. Why? Police have so many more resources than criminals in most instances. A police helicopter does not get stuck in road traffic and can continue to monitor the escaping driver and relay information to ground-based units. In instances where the news is also covering such events with helicopters, they also forward information onto authorities. How does this happen? Radio is a million times faster than driving on the ground. A criminal driving at high speed and trying to elude authorities fails to stop to consider how poorly the odds are stacked against them.
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