Ask Dr Stupid: The mysteries of pregnancy
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Date: Thu, 25 Aug 2005 12:26:49 -0700
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To: Dr. Stupid
From: wapanuca_hottie@yahoo.com (Ashley)
Subject: pregnant
Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by
Ashley (wapanuca_hottie@yahoo.com) on Thursday, August 25, 2005 at 12:26:48
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email: wapanuca_hottie@yahoo.com
realname: Ashley
subject: pregnant
Form-ID: Dr. Stupid Form
Message: how old will my sister be before she gets knocked up????
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Dear Ashley:
Uhm, that is a strange question. I mean, first off, I don't know who you are, much less your sister. Dr. Stupid doesn't date people he does not know, and as well, is not into casual sex. Also, Dr. Stupid, while male, was not built "anatomically correct", so Dr. Stupid is lacking the parts required to assist in someone being placed into a state of contributing to the development of a new life form. Sadly, there is no need for Dr. Stupid to go on a Maury Povich show in regards to paternity tests. Maybe that is not so bad after all.
Have your parents explained to you about the birds and the bees? Well, the bees sting and make honey, and the birds, they don't make honey but some eat honey, and can bite and scratch and poop on you. What does that have to do with pregnancy? I do not have a clue.
If you want to know about "where do babies come from", what I would suggest you do is bring that topic up at the dinner table while your parents are chewing their food. I also suggest that if you have guests over, especially friends of your parents or family, this makes it a much better time to bring up this question. You get ten points for any drinks spilled, 10 points for any food spilled, 10 points for any drinks spit out, with 25 points for each person sprayed by this. Also, 20 points for any choking and 40 points for any food or drink coming out someone's nose per person. Dr. Stupid is not into teaching biology right now, there is legal paperwork right now preventing Dr. Stupid from doing so. Then there's the whole "creationism vs evolution" issue. Dr. Stupid, while acknowledging the valid factors of evolution, strongly believes in creationism, mainly since Dr. Stupid was created from a block of wood, a panty-hose egg container and various other arts and crafts parts. Sure, the basic design of Dr. Stupid may have evolved and improved over the years, but this was not a biological process.
As usual, in a Dr. Stupid question, critical details are omitted. Dr. Stupid has no idea when your sister will be knocked up, or even IF she will be knocked up. There are many factors involved, such as, but not limited to:
Is she good looking? Of course, I've seen some really visually unpleasant woment pregnant, so obviously that is not a requirement.
Is she slutty?
Is she physically old enough to biologically grow a baby?
How old is she?
Is she married?
Is she dating?
Is she married AND dating? And if so, does the other guy know about it?
What is her sexual preference? Straight or otherwise?
Most important, is she engaging in the activities that can result in pregnancy? That might help. Then again, depending on other issues, maybe that's not even a good idea.
Dr. Stupid is not here to dictate morality or right and wrong, good or bad. Dr. Stupid is merely a servant. Dr. Stupid does not judge. All are equal in the plastic eyes of Dr. Stupid.
With any luck, your sister should get knocked up sometime after achieving the age considered to be an adult within your societal standards and hopefully before an age where pregnancy can be considered higher risk.
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Disclaimer: Dr. Stupid is not a licensed medical practioner. Studio42 is not responsible for any advise given on this web site.
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