This is an actual message with my actual response. The addresses have NOT been removed to protect the innocent, guilty or whatever. I guess this is proof-positive that eating silica gel causes brain damage.
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Date: Mon, 18 Nov 2002 12:03:48 -0800
Message-Id: <200211182003.MAA28763@flatus.studio42.net>
To: Dr. Stupid
From: gschmidt@dekoschmidt.de (G¸nther Schmidt)
Subject: silica-gel 40 Tonnen
Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by
G¸nther Schmidt (gschmidt@dekoschmidt.de) on Monday, November 18, 2002 at 12:03:48
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email: gschmidt@dekoschmidt.de
realname: G¸nther Schmidt
subject: silica-gel 40 Tonnen
Form-ID: Dr. Stupid Form
Message: Ladies and Gentlemen,
We would kindly like to ask you to submit an offer for a product with the
following specs:
RH = 50% WG-1 light orange WG-2 light blackish green WG-3 light blue
Our annual need is: XXXX kg
Please quote: EXW, FOB
Please indicate: lot & packaging sizes
Validity date of offer
Your status: manufacturer / Wholesaler/ Retailer
Please feel free to contact me any time via mail gschmidt@dekoschmidt.de in case
you might have problems or questions.
Please submit your offer no later than 11-19-2002.
Thank you very much for your efforts in working out this offer.
Kind regards
G¸nther Schmidt
Dekoschmidt
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Dear Dumb-Ass:
Thanks for spamming me. Your ISP has been notified and in no time, your account will be erased from their systems. Since you took the time to pollute my email, let me analyze and give criticisms to your inquiry:
I'll bet you didn't notice that this section is focused on HUMOR and entertainment. I'll bet if you bothered to look at the links, especially the one talking about silica gel, we were making fun of the fact that it has to be labelled in such a way that idiots such as yourself don't eat it.
Second, we don't make silica gel. But you didn't get the first part, so I don't expect you to get this part either.
Thirdly, thanks for the timeliness required for a response. You send your request on November 18 and demand a response by November 19. Quite nice, especially since you can't be bothered to yank your head out of your ass in the first place. Couple into that the time differential and gee, I've got a whopping 11 hours LESS than you have to deal with this.
Fourth, you sent your request to a DOLL. Wow, I'll bet upper management is going to be proud of you. Hey, there is a big pile of dog doo in the back yard, would you care to solicit that for a position in marketing? I'll bet it could do a better job than you are doing.
Lastly: Ladies and Gentlemen? You left out the "And children of all ages" part. What, do you work at a circus or something? Sheesh, you can't even get your name right. Yeah, like I'd want to do business with someone dumber than dirt. Or is that silica gel.
In closing, please read the packaging and do your snacking from the vending machines, not from the piles of packing material. Oh: and yellow snow is not frozen lemonade, OK?
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