Stupid People in the Workforce
This is an actual message with my actual response. The addresses have NOT been removed to protect the innocent, guilty or whatever.
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Date: Thu, 28 Nov 2002 10:22:48 -0800
Message-Id: <200211281822.KAA11550@flatus.studio42.net>
To: Dr. Stupid
From: mcjsteward@hotmail.com (Marlon C Stew)
Subject: feet boiling
Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by
Marlon C Stew (mcjsteward@hotmail.com) on Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 10:22:48
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email: mcjsteward@hotmail.com
realname: Marlon C Stew
subject: feet boiling
Form-ID: Dr. Stupid Form
Message: is it possible to melt my own feet and survive?
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Dear Marlon:
I hope stew is not what you had in mind when asking this question. Considering that you sent this on Thanksgiving, well, enough said there.
Your question is tricky and I'm afraid that I can not give a clear and concise answer. There are a few factors and variables that are involved and some of this knowledge is beyond me, mainly since I am lazy and don't feel like surfing the internet for details.
My first concern is that why would you want to melt your own feet? I am worried that there may be other factors here that may require professional help, in which case, could you give me $50? This addresses my second concern: is your check gonna bounce? I can accept PayPal and money orders.
All lightness and humor aside. we do not advocate that anyone deliberately injure themselves in any way for any reason. We are not responsible for any injuries that occur as a result of people acting stupidly or irresponsibly.
Getting back to the more scientific answers, I guess the real answer would be "it depends". One big question that I can't answer is the temperature at which skin melts, which I am assuming is significantly lower than the melting temperature of bone. I am deliberately not addressing combustion temperatures, which would be still higher. Deep skin burns are a fairly frequent injury, just watch any episode of ER, people are getting burn-injuries all the time. However, in the TV-show "ER", it is just a TV show and it's just actors with make-up and appliances. However, watch some Discovery Channel and they have a real emergency room show, and they don't use make-up or actors, it's real pus and blood and gore. Damn, ain't cable television great?
Sorry for that detour there. I apologize. But, again, burns are a frequent medical injury. First Degree burns tend to be fairly typical and not a serious injury, but does sometimes include serious pain. I'm not trying to discount the injury in any way as you can get some large and nasty first degree burns that can require a great deal of medical treatment. Common causes of first degree burns are scald injuries from hot water. This can range from bathing water being too hot, cooking injuries involving steam and hot water, quickly touching a hot surface or quick fire-related injuries such as touching an open flame. Second degree burns can also occur from the above type of circumstances, although bathing related injuries are typically excluded since a self-preservation reflex should cause one to remove oneself from such a circumstance. Cooking oil usually boils at higher temperatures and can cause considerable damage, as well as esposure to fire, flame and hot surfaces for slightly longer periods of time than occurs with first degree injuries. Second degree burns usually do cause blistering and bubbling of the skin, so you might consider this to be melting. Such injuries can range from minor for small injuries, to major for small to large injuries. All second-degree burn injuries should be looked at by a doctor to help prevent infections and speed healing. Many such injuries of this nature may scar.
Third degree burns are usually pretty nasty and often involve not only skin melting, but also charring. Third degree burns are nasty and require medical treatment. While any type of burn could become life-threatening, third degree burns typically include deep tissue damage as well as muscle, bone and nervous damage. Patients with third degree burns often have second and first degree burns as well.
To the best of my knowledge, burns over most of the body are extremely dangerous. The degree of the burn, percentage of the body burned and what portions of the body that are burned are all factors in determining the chances of survival. I am sure that even large first degree burns have a high rate of survivability, but as I have said before, I am not trying to downplay the nature of the injury. Poeple can die from burns and I mean as a direct result of the burn injury itself, not secondary issues such as shock.
During times of war, many has shown great ingenuity in the many varieties of mechanised methods of inflicting death and destruction upon man. It's amazing how all this money and research goes into weapony, and to date, I can't go to the store and buy a faucet that won't wear out. At any rate, war has as almost as many methods of death as you can imagine. People get their arms and legs severed due to bombs, landmines, grenades, bullets and other methods, and amazingly, many can live. I would assume such fast injuries would be equally dramatic and traumatic as burn injuries, which can also occur in war.
Getting back to your question in a more direct way: it may be possible to melt your own feet and survive. However, I can not emphasize this enough, I do not advise that anyone do something like this. It is stupid and dangerous. The nature of some of the above burn injuries may require amputation of highly damaged limbs and appendages. If someone can come in to a hospital via ambulance with severe burns and live, then perhaps you could too. I will say that without medical intervention, you're not going to live as a result of the injury. So, it is possible, but you're going to need expensive medical help if you truly want to live. I suggest that you find a new line of though and perhaps a new hobby such as coin collecting.
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