Ask Dr Stupid: Subject: If i stand in Antartica...

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To: Dr. Stupid
From: soldier13579@yahoo.com (adam)
Subject: If i stand in Antartica...

Below is the result of your feedback form.  It was submitted by
adam (soldier13579@yahoo.com) on Tuesday, September 09, 2008 at 12:57:00
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email: soldier13579@yahoo.com

realname: adam

subject: If i stand in Antartica...

Form-ID: Dr. Stupid Form

Message: This is a two part question. 
If i stand in Antartica and i use a VERY POWERFUL laser cannon and shoot down into 
the ground through the ice,what would happen? 
 
If i stand in Antartica and i use a nuclear laser cannon and shoot down into the 
ground through the ice,what would happen,because nuclear is more powerful than normal 
laser,right?Reply ASAP plz!!!!

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Dr. Stupid does not take kindly to demands.

Answer to your question, Part 1:

Depending on the heat generated by the laser, it would cause ice to melt. Assuming it reaches the ground, the ground would also absorb the heat. Depending on the type of gas or crystal matrix would also determine the wavelength, temperature and any possible damage that you and your evil army of of amphibious squirrels would be able to create. Then again, it may just be diffused and refracted throughout the crystaline structure of the ice, causing nothing more than a small hotspot of boiled water which would quickly lose heat and refreeze. The ground would also relatively quickly lose whatever heat energy it absorbed. Assuming there was any true ground damage, it would be largely contained via the pressure of the ice although depending on the geologic conditions there may or may not be measurable seismic activity.

Answer to your question, Part 2:

Assuming your army of amphibious squirrels haven't eaten you yet or frozen to death by the extreme cold of Antarctica, the answer is essentially the same. I am assuming that by "nuclear laser cannon", you mean that the cannon gets its source from a nuclear power supply, which in and of itself is merely used to create electricity, often via using the heat created through fission to heat water, which turns to steam and in turn is piped to turn turbines which convert the steam energy into electrical energy via an electro-magnetic process. So, in this case, you'd probably suffer from radiation burns and/or sickness and a good many of your still surviving amphibious squirrels would also suffer from radiation related complications, assuming that your laser worked in the first place.

The first problem is that you don't know what a laser is in the first place. LASER stands for "Light Amplified by the Stimilated Emission of Radiation". The second issue is that you know obvious as much about nuclear power as you do about lasers. The third problem is that it appears you have too much free time on your hands. That would explain the work you've been doing on genetic research to make your army of amphibious squirrels. It's time to turn off the Science Fiction channel on your UK cable service, go outside, get some fresh air and maybe eat some real food for a change.

Trust Dr. Stupid when Dr. Stupid says that world domination is vastly over-rated. Let's look at some prime examples and failures: Ceasar, Alexander the Great, Qin Shi Huang, Stalin, Hitler. Plus, global warming is a bad thing. There's no point in ruling the world if it's all flooded and you've managed to kill off all the construction workers and civil engineers.

[studio42@flatus counter]$ host 86.21.156.126
126.156.21.86.in-addr.arpa domain name pointer cpc6-seve15-0-0-cust125.popl.cable.ntl.com.
[studio42@flatus counter]$ whois 86.21.156.126@whois.ripe.net
[whois.ripe.net]
% This is the RIPE Whois query server #1.
% The objects are in RPSL format.
%
% Rights restricted by copyright.
% See http://www.ripe.net/db/copyright.html

% Note: This output has been filtered.
%       To receive output for a database update, use the "-B" flag.

% Information related to '86.0.0.0 - 86.31.255.255'

inetnum:        86.0.0.0 - 86.31.255.255
org:            ORG-NI9-RIPE
netname:        UK-NTLI-20050329
descr:          NTL Internet
country:        GB
admin-c:        NNMC1-RIPE
tech-c:         NNMC1-RIPE
status:         ALLOCATED PA
mnt-by:         RIPE-NCC-HM-MNT
mnt-lower:      AS5089-MNT
mnt-routes:     AS5089-MNT
source:         RIPE # Filtered

organisation:   ORG-NI9-RIPE
org-name:       NTL Internet
org-type:       LIR
address:        OLO Management Group
                Dawn Darbon
                NTL House
                Bartley Wood Business Park
                RG27 9UP Hook, Hampshire
                UNITED KINGDOM
phone:          +44 1256 753583
phone:          +44 1483 875105
fax-no:         +44 1256 753701
fax-no:         +44 1483 875150
e-mail:         PlanningInformation.Management@ntl.com
admin-c:        AM2111-RIPE
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mnt-ref:        AS5089-MNT
mnt-ref:        RIPE-NCC-HM-MNT
mnt-by:         RIPE-NCC-HM-MNT
source:         RIPE # Filtered

role:           NTLI Network Management Centre
address:        NTL Internet
address:        Crawley Court
address:        Winchester
address:        Hampshire
address:        SO21 2QA
phone:          +44 1633710142
admin-c:        MH22007-RIPE
admin-c:        NR731-RIPE
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tech-c:         MH22007-RIPE
tech-c:         CW1083-RIPE
nic-hdl:        NNMC1-RIPE
mnt-by:         AS5089-MNT
e-mail:         pim@virginmedia.co.uk
source:         RIPE # Filtered

% Information related to '86.0.0.0/11AS5089'

route:          86.0.0.0/11
descr:          NTL-UK-IP-BLOCK
origin:         AS5089
mnt-by:         AS5089-MNT
remarks:        report abuse to www.virginmedia.com/netreport  +44 (0)1633 710142
source:         RIPE # Filtered

Virgin Media. Dr. Stupid believes this is quite appropriate for you.

Have fun storming the castle. Make sure your tin foil hat is shiny side out so the goverment can't steal your brainwaves and thwart your plans for world domination.