Return-Path: <apache@flatus.studio42.com> Received: from flatus.studio42.com (10.1.42.10) by studio42.com with ESMTP (Eudora Internet Mail Server 3.2.10) for <Dr. Stupid>; Wed, 3 Feb 2010 04:27:06 -0800 Received: from flatus.studio42.com (flatus [127.0.0.1]) by flatus.studio42.com (8.12.5/8.12.5) with ESMTP id o13DfdMF008621 for <Dr. Stupid>; Wed, 3 Feb 2010 05:41:39 -0800 Received: (from apache@localhost) by flatus.studio42.com (8.12.5/8.12.5/Submit) id o13Dfd2c008619; Wed, 3 Feb 2010 05:41:39 -0800 Date: Wed, 3 Feb 2010 05:41:39 -0800 Message-Id: <201002031341.o13Dfd2c008619@flatus.studio42.com> Received: from [203.59.166.165] by www.studio42.com (NMS FormMail 3.14c1) with HTTP; Wed, 3 Feb 2010 13:41:39 GMT (script-name /cgi-bin/stupidformtomail.pl) (http-host www.studio42.com) (http-referer http://www.studio42.biz/stupidform.html) X-Mailer: NMS FormMail 3.14c1 To: Dr. Stupid From: willia.mcarthur@talk21.com (Will McArthur) Subject: Babysitters Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by Will McArthur (willia.mcarthur@talk21.com) on Wednesday, February 03, 2010 at 05:41:39 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- email: willia.mcarthur@talk21.com realname: Will McArthur subject: Babysitters env_report: REMOTE_HOST,REMOTE_ADDR,REMOTE_USER,REMOTE_IDENT,HTTP_USER_AGENT Form-ID: Dr. Stupid Form subject: Babysitters realname: Will McArthur email: willia.mcarthur@talk21.com recipient: poser Message: We have rats in the attic.Have you a number for the Pied piper of Hamlyn?Do you think our children will be safe if we cannot afford his fee.None of our children are disabled. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- REMOTE_ADDR: 203.59.166.165 HTTP_USER_AGENT: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/532.5 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/4.0.249.78 Safari/532.5
Dear Will:

No toys in the attic? Well, if you did, you're supposed to call Aerosmith, but due to current issues within the band, it may be difficult getting them to answer the phone.

Dr. Stupid does not do referal services. Most likely, doing a Google search for the Pied Piper of Hamlin may result in some usable contact results. However, if he is not local to you, it may be prohibitively expensive to transport him in. You may wish to try things like rat traps, poison, or an opossum on methamphetamines as alternate solutions to your rat problem.

Assuming you can get the Pied Piper of Hamlin, I would suggest you do have it quite clear in the services contract what legal recourse of action he would be allowed to take in the event that you as a client would not be able to pay for his services. Of course, these details would all be hammered out ahead of time so there ideally should be no hidden or unknown fees. Due to his previous antics being so well documented, he's made life much more miserable for contracts for nearly all services.

In addition, with society being so litigious, there's no way he's going to risk felony kidnapping charges. Really, now long do you think a flute playing guy wearing tights is going to last in prison? I'd say he'd be swinging off some dude's beltloop within minutes of being thrown into the yard. There's no way he's going to take such a risk. Worse case is he could place a lien against your house. Things have changed quite a bit since that first incident.

Short of that though, you may wish to purchase some disposable foam earplugs for the children just so they won't be affected by the flute music. Or, perhaps you can turn them onto to such bands as Marilyn Manson, Rammstein, Nine Inch Nails, Ministry, MegaDeth, Metallica or even Dethklok.

Strange, Dr. Stupid is now in the mood for a slice of cheddar.



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